All Grace All the Time
“I was playing golf with a friend,” the man said to me yesterday. “And he said—it must’ve been at the 14th hole, I think—he said, ‘John, do you believe in hell?”
He put the club down and asked why such a question. The friend explained that his daughter had been blessed with her first baby, and had just had the child baptized. “Good thing,” the man said, “because she’s been on edge for a month. She needed to get that baby baptized because—what would happen if it died before that, before it was baptized? She was worried that her little girl—my grandchild—might wind up in hell.”
That’s why the man wanted to know if John believed in such a thing. “I don’t,” John said. “I don’t believe in hell.”
In all the years I’ve been meeting with parents to prepare for baptism I can count on about one hand the times when that question hasn’t come up. I often ask parents why we’re baptizing these children, and after a few positive comments—“to welcome them into the family of God” or “to celebrate their birth”—someone usually says, “to, you know, to take care of them in case, you know, something should happen—God forbid—and they weren’t baptized.”
I said to John what I say to all those parents. We don’t need to protect a child from God. There are many things that we need to protect them from—but not God! If the idea of harming this little child is abhorrent to us, whose love is so finite and fickle, how could we imagine that the infinite and perfect love of God could do less?
We have to keep saying it, over and over. It’s all grace with God, it’s all mercy. It’s love, start to finish. We are the ones who took infinite, unconditional love and twisted it into a system of reward-and-punishment. We always do that because we can’t imagine living in a system where the “good” people don’t “get ahead.” If no one’s keeping score, why play the game?
We almost have to set up a world like that, as we seek to make our way in the world, make a name for ourselves, stand out from the crowd, make our mark. But then, later on, we realize (by grace) that it’s all been a big mistake. We’ve created a means test for love and approval—when God never, ever intended it like that.
It’s all grace, all mercy, all the time.
Many of the parables teach abundant grace and mercy, yet we humans still find ways to push the punishment/rewards system.
One thing’s for sure: babies don’t need to be protected from God!
Again, thanks David. Fortunately more and more parents are aware that welcoming their child into the human family, God’s family, is at the center of baptism. But the old longing, the old “just in case”, to make sure God does care is slow to go. I think that sometimes that kind of answer is given because the parents think the clergy want to hear it. You are doing a good job in clearly and gently correcting that misunderstanding. Best, leslie
Interesting–that parents give that response “because they think the clergy want to hear it.” You’re likely right, but how sad is THAT?
Choked up and tears in my eyes.
Beautifully written–beautifully said.
Thanking the Lord for his great love, grace and mercy to all of us!
OK, it’s confession time… It can take time for the heart (stomach?) to catch up with the brain. Twenty years ago when my precious daughter was born, I privately baptized her “just in case” something happened to her before her official baptism at church two months ahead. My head said it wasn’t necessary, that baptism isn’t a magic spell that we cast on God. But what if I was wrong? My stomach wanted to be sure she didn’t go to Limbo (remember THAT?) by some cosmic mistake! Today I laugh about it, and I trust that God is chuckling indulgently along with me.
ok – I agree – but looking at Baptism another way – how about you have your children Baptised, when you have no apparent interest in introducing them to God – to prayer – to a higher power. I have seen this and it upsets me.
Ginny
You’re right, Ginny, totally. But the good thing is that the grace of God is there even if the parents and godparents are just going through the motions.
That is good to know, as they are my two great nephews. It makes me so sad. Ginny
Re: Today, June 3! I was blown away by the music, loved it, and the Ellington was the icing on the cake!
Re: the golf story: I have always loathed the concept of “Limbo”, which I seem to have heard recently that the Roman church has laid aside.(Just like that!) What an awful thing for a parent to think that their lost baby had no chance of Heaven. I too reject the theological concept of Hell, believing that we make our own Hell, here on earth. (I could be wrong, but recent events make me think so.) My three grandsons were all baptized at St. Luke’s and though their parents are 1) now Buddhists and 2)not regular churchgoers,they were all very firm about wanting their boys baptized in the church where they grew up! I bless them all, every day.
ArdenAB