Merry Messy Christmas

Every Christmas pageant features the Innkeeper. He is the one who, when Joseph and Mary come knocking, opens the door a crack and cries, “No room!”
In fact, there never was an “inn” at Bethlehem. All the archaeological evidence suggests that Bethlehem was a one-stoplight town, not nearly large enough to have a Motel 6. But more to the point, Luke uses the word kataluma, which is the same word he uses to describe the room where Jesus shared his Last Supper with his disciples—the guest room of a house. (When Luke means “inn,” as he does in the story of the Good Samaritan, he uses the word pandeion.)
Which means, when Mary and Joseph came to Bethlehem they knocked on the door of a relative. But because thousands were traveling for registration at the census, there was no room in the kataluma, no room in the guest room. So Joseph and Mary ended up in the room at the back of the house where the family kept their prized animals.
For me, this completely changes the Christmas story: it’s about family.
For most of us, Christmas comes down to family. It’s about who gets the guest room and who gets the crappy bed in the basement. Even in very good families, it’s about sibling rivalry and old tapes of family conflict playing on an endless loop in the background. It’s red vs. blue, and how to get a Christmas dinner on the table that doesn’t offend the vegans or turn off the paleos. And if the Bethlehem saga is any indication, Christ is not waiting to be born in something better.
The real Christmas story pronounces a blanket blessing on all gathered families. Mary and Joseph shunted into the livestock quarters means: it was ever thus! We aren’t ever, ever going to have a “perfect” Christmas when the lions and the lambs of the family make nice together until the Second Coming. In the meantime, Jesus is born in the messiest room of the house, and our task is to see Christ there. In our family room.
Oh David I love this and the acknowledgement of the messiness in our lives and families! Growing up my cousins and I had a saying on Christmas – “the last one at the table wins” because inevitably someone would upset someone else and there would be tears and people fleeing the table. Whoever could make it until the end of dinner was crowned the winner! As a kid it was something else, but I’ve come to cherish those memories of my family, all our imperfections, and the good alongside the messiness. That’s living!
That’s an epic family portrait–“last one at the table wins.” But I love how you cherish those memories and take it all into your heart–the conflict and the love that is still there…under it all.
What a mess we are, and Christ plops right down in the middle of it all! What a beautiful reading to wake up to today. Thank you, David!
HA! “Christ plops right down in the middle of it all.” Beautiful!
We only reveal our messy homes to family and trusted friends. No need for an idealized version – I guess the same holds true for everyone who gathers in our messy spaces. Thanks, David!
True, Johnna–we share our vulnerabilities with those we trust. As a writer, you know how writers trust their readers, and revealing ourselves to them is what keeps us true and honest. I’ve seen you do that many, many times.
Yes, you hit a chord, David. You write well because you first look into your own heart, locate an anxiety, alarm or dis-ease, then find a link to it in the scripture, and voila!–every reader, even those in deeep denial, gets connected in the web. you weave. That’s what I’m thinking this morning–if I want to connect with others, I must first connect with myself and then–tell my truth.
One thing I keep learning is that it’s all “in here”–in me. As you say, if I want to connect with others I have to offer a true self for the connection.
David, I have enjoyed all your meditations but this was especially meaningful for me. Yes, our families are all messy and we have to figure out how to love that messiness.
Thanks, Hedi–only people like you have the capacity of heart to do that messy loving. Bless you–
There is another kind of mess in the birth narratives of Matthew and Luke in that they are so different, which one is historically accurate or somehow are both ? Matthew appears to have Jesus’s family already living in Bethlehem, whereas Luke has them living in Nazareth. Since Jesus was born into the house of David Luke wants to have him born in Bethlehem the seat. of the house of David so how to get him there. There is no historical record of a census at the time of Jesus’s birth (a census was a huge deal and certainly would have been recorded by the. historians of the time) so Luke apparently invents a census to suit his theological purposes…messy but effective.
You’re right, Peter–there are always multiple versions of almost every key story in the New Testament. That whole story–messes and all–is what we have and what we hold to. It’s one of the reasons why these stories continue to fascinate and inspire over the centuries–because they invite more questions than they even try to answer.